linterry's blogger

I feel sorry for rich kids. I really do. How can they even begin to comprehend the joy of having without ever knowing the feeling of not having?

How would you like to start playing Diablo at Level 80? You'll play the game a couple of times and then quit out of sheer boredom. Monsters die at a single click. You can stand there and take a million hits and your life bar barely goes down. It's a blessing to start at Level 1, because being Level 1 means something very important: you have something to fight for, something to live for, something to look forward to.

I think my life is too good. I sleep when I want, eat when I want, fuck when I want, go out or stay in when I want. There's really nothing to complain about anymore, even for a nitpicky Virgo like me. But do I feel happy... as in I'm smiling my ass off all the way to bed every day? Not really. When I'm eating, or having sex, or playing a good video game, I feel satisfied. But during any moment of inactivity, I feel... dead. Like life isn't really worth it anymore, because there's nothing to fight for. It seems just about only two reasons to do something are: 1. it's satisfying or 2. it will circumvent poverty.

I don't think I need any more personal proof of this statement: all emotion is derived from recent difference. The recent difference between eating and not eating. The recent difference between being alone and being with people. The recent difference between having and not having. Absolutes are meainingless. You can't feel rich unless you are richer than something... either another person or yourself from the past. And that feeling won't last, unless you can keep creating differences.

Just look at your own computer. I am sitting in front of a 1.8Ghz computer, with 768MB of RAM, 80GIG of hard drive space, a DVD-R that can burn 4.7gigs of data onto a single disc. When I was a kid, I used a 0.008Ghz computer, with 0.64MB of RAM, 0.020G of HD space, and a floppy drive that can write 0.00144G. Am I getting 100000000000000 times the pleasure from using this current machine? Actually, it was more fun using the XT back then. I was just starting out in the world of computers, and it had a great mystique, like a great mystery that was just waiting to be solved. Now, even though I don't know everything about computers, I know enough that it doesn't feel like magic anymore. So there you go, while there is a HUGE difference in quality between the computer of day and the 15 year old computer, you can't feel this difference anymore. Brain normalization is a real fucker eh?

There is no nirvana. No matter what your endevoer, your emotional satsifcation will forever remain fixed around a certain point. A constant happiness means a continuous stream of positive differences in your life, and I don't think anybody can sustain that. Especially since after a while, you will get used to that continuous stream and will need to accelerate it in order to sustain said emotional satisfcation. Goes back to that dy/dx theorem again. Calculus permeates the human mind.

This is one hilarious anime. Check it out here:

http://www.animesuki.com/torrents.php
Don't watch it with friends, because you'll both be going "huh" and there will be a lot of silent awkward moments. It's the kind of series that is best enjoyed alone late at night, when your brain is more immune to... uhh... awkward silence moments. Yeah... and an appreciation of the Japanese is essential too.

My girlfriend watched this really old movie where Jodie Foster gets gang-banged, and she told me "This movie was so horribly sad. I cried my heart out during the rape scene when I was a kid"

At first I was like "wow, is fake rape that horrendous to you? i see it in all the time in my porn collection".

But then when I watched the rape scene, I had a pretty big hard-on despite having sex only a couple of hours ago. At the same time, my girlfriend was predictably furious. You could see it her eyes as Jodie Foster gets banged up by several men in a bar - "men are disgusting pigs" was written across her face. And then when she turned around and noticed the hard-on, she said "You're such a pig too. All men are just disgusting and filthy". It wasn't a joke either.

Well, it's not like I'm doing anything. I'm just sitting here, passively, and my body reacts automatically in a certain way to certain imagery. And my girlfirend is accusing me of being a pig. She also said this memorable line: ""Penises are the root of all the world's problems."

But you know, maybe she has a good point, cuz after I saw that rape scene, I couldn't wait but to jack-off to "Gang Bang Auditions No 5" on my computer.

This is when I felt: conflict and hatred will never die. Every person, by their very disposition, is rigged to piss somebody off, whehter it's another gender, or another race, or another income bracket. I think I used to put a lot of effort into trying to be harmonious with everybody I met. But now I think, that's just trying to hide your scars under a mask. No matter how good of a person you try to turn yourself into, there will always be someone out there who will still think you are garbage. And he may be a lot closer than you think.

I've been really into this game lately: silent storm sentinels. I actually beat the original silent storm a while back, sentinels is a new add-on.

I seemed to have misplaced my original silent storm cd's... so I clicked on the bittorent links to download the original game again... you know, just in case I really did lose them. Well, after like half a day and some occasional searching, I finally found the cd's. So I open my Azureus window with the intention of terminating the downloads... and to my surprise they were already finished. So instead of using the actual game cd's, I used alcohol 120% to mount those images as virtual cd's and installed the game.

Isnt' that... screwed? I mean physically, the game data itself was within a 20 meter radius of my actual body. But now it can actually be faster to get the same information once more from other countries. I don't think this is magnificent - I think this is scary.

Anyhow regarding the game Silent Storm - even though the gfx are kinda average, and it performs sorta sluggigh... it's the in-game engine and physics model that really got me hooked. The environments are super interactive making the whole experience very immersive.

I watched a couple of trailers for FF12 and it really got me excited. The graphics are outstanding but that's not news from a top-tier company like Square. What is news is that Hitoshi Sakimoto (who produced the soundtrack to Final Fantasy Tactics, which I think is loaded with brilliant masterpieces) is now the main composer of the FF12 soundtrack! As we all know, Nobuo Uematsu used to be the guru behind almost every Final Fantasy track, but I suppose his days have come to an end (?) Anyways, there are two samples for listen:

http://www.ff12.com/music/index2.html

I don't know how to describe Sakimoto's music except for bright, lively, and invigorating. One of his trademarks was extremely abundant use of counterpoint (sometimes even 3 simultanous melodies!) in the FFT soundtrack, which was really kickass. It's interesting how even before I learned that Sakimoto was the guy behind FF12 - I just assumed that Nobuo was the guy behind FF12, but after watching the trailers it just kept bugging me "Nobuo doesn't make music like that!!!"

It's strange but the kind of music that any given individual produces is actually limited by his own personality. That is to say, Nobuo could try really hard to sound like Sakimoto (and vice versa) - it would not only be be a painful and arduous task, but the results would still be off. Nobuo's music seems to be more traditional - based on chord progressions with minimal use of counterpoint. It's very easy to dissect his music, but Sakimoto's seems to be far more complex (due to counterpoint) and I usually give up seconds after trying to reproduce his music on the piano. It doesn't decompose well into the standard musical idea of "melody riding on top of chords". Sakimoto's style - counterpoint - is more like "melody in sync with other melodies" Just listen to the second track at the link above and try to identify the melody... if you listen carefully there is almost always more than one "melody" going at the same time, and the most dominant one shifts back and forth between different parts very often. Whereas with Nobuo Umetsu, the melody and chordal parts are relatively fixed throughout the whole song, thus making it far more singable and decomposable.

It's strange how certain people seem to resonate in different ways with differnet people's music. Not just positive or negative, but in different dimensions as well. For instance, I like Nobuo and Sakimoto's music, but in different ways. They make me feel a "different" kind of positive.

I don't think I'll ever be able to adapt society's definition of mass consumerism. Today, I received a nice surprise: a 1000NT coupon off a brand new cell phone. Since my present phone looks like it was dug up from the stone age and has a missing antenna, I thought it was about time to replace it.

I go to the Taiwan Cellular Corp store, show them the coupon, and the lady says "okay, which cell phone do you want?" I ask her, "well, can I try any of the cell phones before I decide?". She then stares at me like I'm a idiot, and says "we don't have any real phones on display. if we gave you one to try, you'd have to buy it", at which point I just I said "thank you, goodbye" and left.

How can people just buy a cell phone without even trying it? Especially when certain models cost over 10,000NT? It just makes no sense. I wanted a basic cell phone but I was particuarily concerned about the following things:

1. key latency (the delay between pressing a key and actual response)
2. a logical, minimialistic menu structure with intuitive key shortcuts.
3. ability to sort the actual simcard entries so that the a phonebook loads instantly on bootup (most phones leave simcard entries unsorted and use an updateable index in the cell phone that must be reconstructed everytime the phone is powered on, however my phonebook list almost never changes so it would be best to just sort it once and never have to rebuild an index again)

How in the world can I judge how a phone performs in these categories if you don't let me try it? I tried reading some of the literature but they just kept talking features and features and features... cameras, Java, WAP, ringtones galore, yada yada. Well, I guess that's just your average consumer. Value = Features / Price. To me though, it's the usability of the phone in the most basic operations that matters most. Trinket-features come a very distant second, but that's all that's listed on the product literature.

By the way, it seems ironic that only newer phones tend to have poor key latency... that's why I like the phone I'm using now, it's monochrome and ancient but when I push a key it responds instantly. I've used these full-blown feature-rich phones but just trying to navigate their menus is an exercise in torture as it responds TOO SLOWLY (like in excess of 100msec) - and to think people pay a fortune for these models!

And then I just think to myself... why am I even bothering getting a new cell phone? There's nothing that my current phone can't handle (except sorting the simcard entries) I guess I just wanted a new toy to play around with. But functionally, a 8 year old cell phone does everything I need it to do in the year 2004, without hassles or aggravations. So I just gave the coupon to my cousin.

I think sometimes, I'm already an old man...

Just watched the first few episdoes of Initial D: 4th stage. It's not bad, but still follows the same recipe: Long monologues right in the middle of a race, spectactors' incessant worshipping, Ryosuke's pompous "I already know everything about you, your car, and the brand of underwear you're wearing" attitude and that "key trick" that happens near the end of every battle. For the first two episodes, the Project D members are godlike and if some worthy opponent doesn't show up soon... hrm...

Anyways, the intro theme was super catchy: DOGFIGHT by Move. You can get a "48-hour trial version" here..lol:

http://geocities.com/go2idmp3/MP3.html

Two things I like about the song: the super professional sound production that just reeks of the latest of studio equipment and technology... and the nice use of strong counterpoint in the chorus. You have that synth string riff and the fairly forgettable melody going at the same time... it's very moving.

Of course, I can't help but decompose the chord progression, it's now an instinctive habit:

Key: F#min

verse (rap): {F#5, F#5, D5, E5} (all power chords, I think)
replace E5 with C#5 before the chorus

Just the bass notes for the chorus, not entirely sure of the chord's quality:

string riff:{A...G#,A,B.....A...G#,A,B....}
bass notes: {F#.......F#....F#.......F#...}

string riff:{C#...B,A,G#.....C#...B,A,G#....}
bass notes: {D........D......E........C#......}

string riff:{A...G#,A,B.....A...G#,A,B....}
bass notes: {F#.......F#....E........E....}

string riff:{C....B,A,G#.....C#...B,A,G#....}
bass notes: {C........C......C#.......C#......}

be-careful of the C natural, it's the accidental sounding note in the second part of the chours

and the chorus outro:

guitar riff:{G,E,F#,D,E,C#} (repeat)

Like anyone's gonna actually use that information...

If you have a PS2 and you don't hate soccer, get this game NOW.

It is so unbelievable. This is what all games should be like: art. The quest for perfection, which in this case: to simulate reality down to the tinest nuance.

I'm not even a real soccer fan. I don't even know who that dude on the cover is. But if you have any apprecation for passionate, inspired work, it doesn't even matter. It will turn you into a soccer fan.

Winning Eleven 8 is the God of All Sports Games.

If you keep adding up random numbers between 0 and 1, how many numbers would you need on average so that the total sum exceeds 1?

Answer: 2.71828... aka: e

Is that not miraculous? Seriously, how is it that this magical relationship exists? I was trying to figure out the proof for this but unfortunately statistics is one of my worst subjects. It seems to make intuitive sense... I would imagine you usually only need 2 or 3 tries... the chance that you need a large number of tries diminishes to zero. So the average would seem to hover around 2.71828... but HOW!?!

Mathemtaics is full of strange relationships. e can also be defined as "the infinite sum of the the reciprocals of the factorials of all the natural numbers". In other words, 1/0! + 1/1! + 1/2! + 1/3! + ... Can you see the connection of this to the number above? It's almost creepy in a sense...

OMG! iD Software's sequel to the legendary Doom is finally out!

Here's my slanderous review:

http://www.gamefaqs.com/computer/doswin/review/R77194.html

In other words: it sucks.

It is really about time that I stop doing any kind of computer related work. Today my neck and lower back starting aching like crazy. It wasn't just sore, it was inflammed. I couldn't even sit down at QK Coffee & Tea without the pain irritating the hell out of me.

I'm only 24, and this sedentary lifestyle has already taken its toll on me. Oh yeah, it's also 7am and I've been unable to sleep all night. Could be related to the fact that I spent like 10 hours straight completing one song for CMUSIC in less than one day. My mind's still on fire, but there's nothing left to do or think about.

Teaching English. Good pay, no computers, get to talk to real people constantly. That's just what the doctor ordered.

Because Shinbou and I had jack shit to do today, we decided to visit the "Core Pacific City Living Mall", aka the "Taipei Living Mall". Why the "Living"? There are two possibilities:

1. It's actually alive
2. Mall Management wanted to express the fact that shopping at the Mall is a way of "living", but their English ability wasn't up to snuff

What's so special about this Mall? Imagine somebody rolled a huge boulder down a hill and smashed it into your house. If the boulder gets stuck halfway in, then you've got the same architectural design as the Living Mall.



Designed by famous architect Jon Jerde (of Tokyo Shiodome fame), this inside of the mall was freakishly out of this world. Basically, you have two main areas... the spacier shopping area outside the ball, and also the inside of the ball. Escalators connect the two together in the middle. You can also reach the "ball" if you walk around to the edges.



The escalators in the middle were freakishly long. But if you don't go on those escalators, you've pretty much missed 90% of the fun. Cuz all the shops were pretty mcuh the same as any other mall.



This picture was taken from inside the ball, on the 11th floor looking down. It kinda reminds me of something from Star Wars... you know...those "bottomless pits" in the Death Star. If I was still playing Jedi Outcast, I'd be hiding in that picture, waiting to Force Grip you down that shaft. If you are here on the 11th floor, keep your distance from anybody and everybody. If you just so happen to get into a confrontation here (let's say you bump into the guy who's girlfriend you slept with)... the next push just might send you over that railing and to your final doom.



Here's the food court on B1. Or is it B2? B3? Forgot. When I look at that picture, I can't help but play out a certain scenario that involves those gray pillars collapsing and having that huge ball drop a few metres, scaring the shit out of all the shoppers as they race for the exits before the ball crushes them all.



It seems obvious from the 2d overhead map that Jerde went a bit crazy with circles and spheres :




Now here's a couple of pics you guys may not really understand... but anyhow... here goes. This is the kinda shit that REALLY pisses me off. These two pictures were taken at an "quasi-arcade" in the mall. The first picture shows the front of a makeshift "coin-op" machine. But it's nothing like your typical arcade machine, which would at least be housed in one physical box. Nope, the "arcades" in taiwan consist of a no-name generic television "Saga" hooked up to a hidden PS2 in the cabinet, along with two el-cheapo speakers connected to a Multi-band Equalizer (most likely they are looking to reproduce that super treble + bass in classic coin-ops).



Now, I would've actually forgiven them on this cheap profiteering venture, if weren't for the fact that the picture quality looked terrible. You know why? Cuz the motherfucking owners are using fucking COMPOSITE video... COMPOSITE. I have evidence right there in that stupid picture with the single yellow connection. That's just downright illegal. If you're going to make money off people playing a vanilla PS2, at least give them a decent picture. If I had enough power, I would make a law that would forbid composite video hookups and any display that deviates from 6500K NTSC by more than 1000K. Yep, these guys would be arrested and jailed for what they've done.



Anyhow, moving along... pretty much the only money we spent in this mall was playing the Sharpshooter DX game. You've probably seen these things before. Put in your coins, and 5 or 6 balls roll down. You try to make as many baskets as possible in 60 seconds. 1 shot = 2 points. If you get more than 50 points, you get another 60 seconds but the rim starts oscillating back and forth. Shinobu and I cheated by playing together to increase the shot rate, and on our 3rd try, we made 132 points in two rounds.



We thought that was pretty hot shit, considering the top score on this machine was 247. But on the wall next to us, we see the gayest thing on earth:



I know what you're thinking "What the fuck!?!?! How can anyone possibly score 426 points in 120 seconds". And I understand completely... if you do the math, this guy had to have sunk 1.78 shots per second. And that's making every shot. If you make 80%, you'd have to shoot at least 2 times per second to make 426. Try going through the motions of a picking up a basketball and shooting it. It just doesn't seem possible to do this two times a second.

You'd think that maybe some idiot puts in his money, climbs into the machine and then starts dunking the ball as fast as he can. But I doubt all those guys who scored over 300 would get their picture taken for such a "skilled" achievement. Obviously, there were witnesses who saw these unbelievable feats being accomplished.

I don't doubt those guys made the points they did, because I've seen these crazy-ass Sharpshooter DX players who shoot insanely fast. The trick lies in how you pick up the ball. The average player uses both hands to pick up the ball and shoot, but with this method, you can only shoot about 1 shot/second. If you want more points, then you need to learn the Ambitdextrous Palm n' Shoot method. Basically, you palm the ball with one hand as it comes down, quickly chuck it at the backboard, and then almost instanteously, repeat the same thing with your other hand. If you get good at it, it's almost like a rythym-like trance: right-palm-shoot, left-palm-shoot, right-palm-shoot, left-palm-shoot. And it's FAST. These guys don't even look down to pick up the ball, they just know it's there. And they make almost every shot, despite the fact that they're "throwing" the ball with one hand as opposed to actually "shooting" it basketball style. All in all, it's just unbelievable. If you stare at all the balls going in, it looks like a machine is throwing all those balls.

Anyways, I tried the Ambidextrous Palm and Shoot and I couldn't even get myself to palm a mini-basketball correctly. I have no doubt that it's a lot harder than you would imagine it to be.

Dinner was at Pasta Bar-Cinemark. It was pretty much the best part of of the day, as we got a good seat in an open spacey area.





Here I started contemplating the essence of a franchise such as the Pasta Bar. I came up with this random thought experiement: if you think of McDonalds, what comes to mind? Big Macs, Fries, Cheeseburgers, Drive-Thru, etc. But isn't it strange how there isn't a single human being in that list? (Ronald Mcdonald doesn't count, he's not real)

Now think of private restaurants that you've been to quite often. Do the same thing, think of all the things that are associated with the restaurant. More likely than not, an actual person will be in that list... eg the watiress who brings you your food, the chef who cooks your food. In my case, I must've been to McDonalds thousands of times in my life, but I can't even picture a single person associated with McDoanlds. But if I think of the small pasta place near our house, or the korean restaurant across the street, I can immediately see the people who work there and cook my food.

So really, what is a franchise restaurant? It's basically a set of recipes and standards that can be implemented by anybody, anywhere. And that's partly why it's such a successful business idea. It's very mobile. If you open a new mall, it's far easier to open a new KFC there and start selling food right away than it is to uproot a private restaurant and tell everybody to relocate. For one thing, the owner of the restaurant probably has a lot of sentiments for that place and their usual customers. Seen in another way, a franchise is just a dehumanized, mechanized, restaurant - devoid of all human passion. Even though the name and the interior decroation suggest warmth and comfort, they are completely absent. It's pure business.

OMG, it is the Death Star!