linterry's blogger

I'm gonna revert to English for a bit cuz I actually have something to say this time... I bought an small upright piano today. As you can see from the pictures, it's fairly old. When I first saw it the shop owner was still in the process of restoring it. The keys had already turned YELLOW, that's how old it is.

Why did I buy an acoustic piano? Well, quite simply, I just couldn't stand riffing on a cheesy midi keyboard anymore. After I played my cousin's grand last week, I suddenly realized how I missed playing a real piano. The exqusite feel of real ivory keys, that unique tactile sensation when a key is depressed, and that rich, resonating sound that simply can't be reproduced by any synthesizer or digital piano... I was considering buying a digital piano but I firmly believe that no mattter how much technology advances, we will never be able to fully replace a real instrument like the piano.

Amazingly, this fairly antique piano only cost me 30,000NT, fully tuned and restored. Believe it or not, I think the sound is FAR superior to a bunch of 2nd hand Yamahas (going for 55,000NT) that I also got to play at the store. The Yamahs sounded so cold and sterile, but this one has a rich and full sound... almost TOO rich at times. But I love that because I can play simple block chords and it sounds so wonderful! I'm not a performance pianist, I like to improvise chords and make up progressions as I go.

The store owner was such a nice guy... he had this old-fashioned honesty thing going for him, that i felt totally comfortable buying this piano. At the very least, he actually KNOWS pianos, he's not just some aggressive salesman who doesn't give a shit about music.

Just knowing that this piano has a long history and has had many different owners gives me the goosebumps. I love antique stuff... there's a certain quality of workmanship that seems to be missing from almost all manufactured goods today.

最近寒くなちゃった。何か、考えも行動も変わったみたい。突然に彼女と欲ベッドで抱っこしたくて、新しいものを買いたくて、新しいことをしたんです。その元で、この日記は全部日本語に書くようになった。

エッチなんてしなくてもいいと思うようになった。もう二日間に、エッチもオンアにするも全然しなかったけど、体はまだ元気で仏です。夏か春だったら、今絶対オンアにするけど、今へきだ！スケベな俺として、すばらしいことですよ！

そうだ、最近「白い巨塔」のドラマに嵌ってしまった。私のいい友達のウェイも見ればいいと思うよ。このドラマのメッセージは「人生がトップになっても、永遠の幸せが待ってないです」だと思う。すなわち、人生として果てより旅だ。

最近、首あたりは痛いです。絶対、理由はパソコンを使いすぎて、運動あまりしなくて、こんなことになってしまった。自分に約束したんだ：毎日せめて体操する。そうしないと、体の調子きっとやばくなってしまう。

最近、思うようになった：もしかして、日本語で書いて、話して、考えたら、私はもっと簡単な人になるんじゃない？この日記に書くときに一番気づいてる。。日本語表現力は低いから、複雑なことを表現するのはまったく無理だ。全部簡単なことしか書けない。多分、英語も日本語も出来る人がこのページを見ると、日本語のエントリは頭悪くなった時に書いたと思うかも。

今日は６：００ＧＭＴぐらいに、ＡＲＳＥＮＡＬのすばらしい不敗記録はＭＡＮＣＨＥＳＴＥＲ・ＵＮＩＴＥＤに止められた。

くそ。。くそ。。。ク・ＦＵＣＫＩＮＧ・ソオオオオオオオ！！！！！

始めのゴールは後半に、ＳＯＬ・ＣＡＭＰＢＥＬＬはＰＥＮＡＬＴＹ・ＡＲＥＡで足をちょっと出してＲＯＯＮＥＹを転ばせた。それでＭＡＮＵがＰＥＮＡＬＴＹをもらって、ＮＩＳＴＥＬＲＯＯＹが外れなかった。

その後、ＡＲＳＥＮＡＬは１点を必死に取ろうとしたけど、ＬＯＳＳＴＩＭＥでＭＡＮＵにカウンターされた。。。得点した選手はくそったれのＲＯＯＮＥＹだった。俺はあいつ超嫌なので、死にむかついた。

最後、ＡＲＳＥＮＡＬは２対０で負けた。悲しいひだぜ。もう。。。心は裂けられた気がする。ＨＥＮＲＹのゴールも見なかったのは、結構がっかりです。

今日は私のお爺ちゃんの８４歳の誕生日だった。また、お爺さんの家で親戚と一緒に晩御飯をたべた。。。いつもと同じようなつまらなかった。けど、あそこで上等なグランド・ピアノがあって、ちょっと引いていた。超懐かしいだね。。。やっぱりピアノとして、本物とキーボードを比べられないんだ。はじめに本物を引いた時に、すごくいい気持ちだったぜ。。。音も手の感覚も。仏なコードを引くと、思ったより綺麗な音が出た、特に７ｔｈコード。

今、ちょっとピアノの本物を買いたいんですね。でもきっとありえないことだね。お金な問題じゃんくて、面倒くさすぎるんだ。私は新しいものを買う時に超大変なことだ。。。絶対想像の中で完璧のものを買わなきゃ、そうじゃなかったら、ずっと不満足になってしまう。私は新しいものを買うことをもう結構怖がるようになって、たとえば先壊した携帯も返したくない。

二時間あと、ＡＲＳＥＮＡＬ対ＭＡＮＣＨＥＳＴＥＲ・ＵＮＩＴＥＤの試合がある。絶対見るぜ。。。もしＥＳＰＮで見えなかったら、超超超超超超超超怒るぞ！！！！

日本語で書くのは死に楽しいぜ。ちょっと言いたいものがある。。。言語のことだ。私のよく知ってるは：英語、中国語、日本語。この三つの中で、中国語は一番言いやすくて、英語は一番変わられ安くて、日本語は一番綺麗だ。

１．中国語は一番言いやすい
文法わ簡単で、音も言いやすくて、原始的な言語だ。多分サルちゃん一番簡単で習える言語だ。中国語の一番大きな問題は：書きはダサい！全部は漢字で書いて、昔の昔の昔のＥＧＹＰＴのＨＩＥＲＯＧＬＹＰＨＳと似てない？まだこの時代に使うことをやめったら方がいいと思う。新しい言葉も作りにくくて、漢字を書くのはいっぱい時間を掛かって、名詞、動詞、形容詞、前置詞、全部同じぐらい長くて（１、２、３漢字ぐらい）、パソコンで書くは死に面倒くさくて。。。本当に簡単の言葉しか言えなくて字を書けないサルちゃんと合う言語だ。

２．英語は一番変わられやすい
英語は全部発音で書くから、新しいことばは一番作りやすいんだ。だから、よく進歩があるＦＩＥＬＤには便利です。たとえば、科学、数学、パソコン的なのだ。でもやっぱり、英語の設計はメチャクチャだ。文法と綴りのルールは全然一致じゃない。その上に、言語はいっぱい要らない言葉とルールがあう。。。たとえば「Ｉ　ＷＡＬＫ　ＴＯ　ＳＣＨＯＯＬ」と「ＨＥ　ＷＡＬＫＳ　ＴＯ　ＳＣＨＯＯＬ」。。。どうして二番目の「ＷＡＬＫＳ」は「Ｓ」が必要ですか？実は、いい原因が全然なくて、ただに英語を勉強してる人に困らせるルールだ。多分その点で、アメリカ人は要らないものをずっと気になるんだ。たとえ、言わなくてもいい言葉を言う、買わなくてもいいものを買う。「倹約」わからない国だな。

３．日本語は一番綺麗だ
もう秘密じゃない。。。みんな日本語を勉強すこと好きだ。これは一つの例です。どうしてあの野郎がカタカナを入れたの？私はダサいと思うけど、多分あいつらはチョかっこいいと思うかも。「ほら、見て、俺は日本語が出来るぜ！アンタ出来るかい？出来ない？じゃ、私の上等の日本語を見て、羨ましくナレ！」って言ってるみたい。ま、私も同じだけど、あいつはチョ昇進者で、俺もプロだ。でもこれは本当によく見えるＰＡＴＴＥＲＮだ：日本語は（せめて）アメリカ人に人気ものだ。だって、世界の一番上等なアニメとビデオゲームは日本で作ってるんだ。他の原因は、日本語はとても「さっぱり」な言語だね。三つの書き方があって、文のそれぞれのところにちゃんと違う書き方を使うんだ。私には、この点で日本語を書くことは楽しいんだ。でも、一番すばらしいのはルールが信じられないような一致だ。たとえば、動詞のルールの例外は三つだけだ！日本語の設計はやっぱり一番綺麗だ。毎回日記を書き終わって、また戻って見ると「チョ綺麗」と思って勃起するぞ。

今晩は大学の友達のＣＨＡＲＬＩＥ，ＣＡＬＶＩＮ、ＪＵＡＮと一緒に晩御飯を食べました。結構楽しかったぜ。こんなにみんな一緒に火鍋を食べること珍しいだね。でもＤＡＮＮＹはいなくて、やっぱり気分はちょっと変だった。

そういえば、ＣＨＡＲＬＩＥの車に乗ったときに、不注意でドアを閉めて、ジャケットの右ポケットをつぶしてしまった。あのポケットの中は。。。私の携帯だった。。。やばかったああ！まだ普通に使えるけど、映像は完璧壊れちゃった。もう本当に新しい携帯を買わなきゃ。。。でも返したくない。長いとき使った物はとても気に入るようになってしまう。

他のは何かな。。。先にＤＡＮＮＹに電話をした。あいつは大学生活を慣れたって言うけど、台湾料理をすごく懐かしんでる。ＤＩＡＮＡは先週に見に行って、彼女の家で何日間泊まったけど、やっぱりめったに合えなくて大変だって。あいつは本当に金玉で行ってるから、私は簡単で情け出来る。正直で、自分の金玉を隠してるような人は一番気持ち悪い（たとえば、私は彼女いらない、私は彼女のためじゃなくて、自分のためをするって卒中言う人だ）。

忍は今日私に言った：「あんたは友達より幸せじゃない？」。ちょっと考えると、それは本当に真だね。。。仕事は楽しくて面白くて、彼女は優しくてＨをよくしたくて、綺麗な家に住んで、毎日ほとんどやりたいことをやって、好きな時間に起きられて。。大きな文句がないみたいね。。。

そういえば明日はチョすごいＳＯＣＣＥＲの試合がある：ＡＲＳＥＮＡＬ対ＭＡＮＣＨＥＳＴＥＲ．ＵＮＩＴＥＤ．あれ絶対見なきゃ。もちろん、ＡＲＳＥＮＡＬを応援する。

私の上司Ｃａｔｈｅｒｉｎｅって言う人は今日韓国から帰ってきた。最近の作った曲の意見を出した。。。「とてもいい」って。良かったね。やっぱり、私のＤＮＡの中で、何の音楽才能があるかな。

この仕事本当に好きだ。音楽はさ、やっぱり一つの「魂にいいもの」です。。。他のは食い、踊り、運動、「自由表現」話し、そしてもちろんＨだ。もしも仕事はそういうものと関係あれば、それが本当にいいですね。正直で、パソコンＰＲＯＧＲＡＭＭＩＮＧの仕事は本当に人間にひどい仕事だ。。。それを毎日やったら、なんか頭のいくつの大切なところを全然使ってない感じがする。私ははっきりわからないけど、自分は自然でパソコンＰＲＯＧＲＡＭＭＩＮＧの仕事をどうにかしてもよけたいんだ、何年間やったから。

今日から、この日記はしばらく日本語で書く。理由はいくつある：
１．もう英語で書くのは、飽きちゃった。最近に、なんでも書いてもつまらない。新鮮な感じが欲しい。
２．日本語を書くことを練習したいんだ。文法が間違ってもどうでもいい。
３．この日記を見る人はちょっと多すぎだから、こうしったら、絶対減る。
４．ただに威張りたいだけだ。
（多分、いつかに英語に戻るけど、しばらく日本語でやってみたい）

この日記もう一年間なのこととてもすばらしいと思う。いっぱい色々な気持ちが入ってる日記だと思う。

今日は忍の同僚「大城工」って言う人とＮＴＵでＦＯＯＴＢＡＬＬを遊んだ。あいつらは本当にいい人に見える。二回三回しか会ってなかったけど、もういい仲間になったみたい。多分沖縄人だから、とてもＥＡＳＹＧＯＩＮＧなタイプかな。。。とにかく、あいつは私の始めのタバコを吸う友達だ（普通はタバコ吸う人は私に嫌！）

たとえば、私と大城さんもう一緒にいい仲間ように買い物をしたり。ＡＶ、オンナにすること、家族のこと。。。もう全部自由で話したり。。。珍しくない？多分星座と関係あると思う。。。忍以外にこんなにＲＥＬＡＸで話せる人はすごく久しぶりだね。

最近さ。。。アメリカの文化をとても嫌いになった。やっぱり、あそこに住めば、永遠に本当の幸せを感じれない。子供時に、アメリカはこの世界の中央と思っていたけど、もう腐ってる国だと思うになった。 これは「人生観」の問題です。沖縄人は本当に簡単な人だ。もう、本当に何も考えなくて、馬鹿みたいで活きている。ただにおいしいものを食べて、友達と話して、よく寝て、それでいい。自分が知ってる沖縄人はみんなそうだ。でもアメリカ人は小さい時から「俺は、絶対成功しないといけない、絶対みんなよりお金を儲けないといけない」な考えがあるみたい。だから、絶対どんないい生活を出来ても、やっぱりまだ満足じゃない。

私は忍と付き合ってから、どんどん生活が楽しくなちゃた。これは絶対忍の「人生観」と関係あると思う。もしも台湾人やＣＢＣと付き合ったら、今日は絶対困ることがいっぱいと思う。

簡単な人は絶対一番。

頭痛い。多分忍は病気をくれた。。。もう早く寝なきゃ。。。来週は10時にＳＴＵＤＩＯに行くわけ。。。チョ大変ですね。。。

In my recent memory, I haven't had sufficient attention span to comletely finish watching any movie over the last few months. Pretty much the only thing I can watch on TV for longer than 60 minutes is a soccer match, or two conseuctive re-runs of Friends.

BUT, tonight, that record was broken...



I caught the first part of Rob Scheider's The Animal, and holy shit, I just couldn't stop watching! It was unbelievably hilarious, and I had some great laughs. My girlfriend was also equally hooked. I remember seeing the preview for The Animal back when I was in Toronto, and the first (and only) thought that crossed my mind was "who the FUCK would go see a movie like this?"

Well, now I understand. To tell you the truth, part of it is because I feel sorry for Rob Schneider. He looks goofy, has a dorky name, and puts out what seems like the dumbest movies. He even got dissed real hard on one episode of South Park ("Rob Schendier is: A durp a durp a durpedee durp-ee durp!"). It turns out all this negative publicity has turned me into a fan. Today when I saw his mug on TV, I chuckled and said "well let's just see how bad this is" - and somehow I ended up watching the whole friggin' movie! Not only that, it was seriously entertaining! I can't recall the last time any movie entertained me so much.

For instance, in the Animal, I just couldn't stop gaffawing when Scheider twisted the orangutan's nipples. The expression on the ape was so hilarious, I'm laughing right now just reminiscing. That scene when he bull charges the sleazy Italian waiter was also golden. I guess what I like most about this kind of a movie is that it's really honest. It doens't try to hide behind anything, it's like they're saying to you "we know this is a dumb movie, we had a lot of laughs making it, hopefully you'll have some laughs too". And that's so charming in a sense. It feels like one of your close buddies made it himself.

Oh, and that girl, Colleen Haskell. WOW! She's got that amazing down-to-earth girl vibe that I just can't get enough of. Next to Dido, she's probably the only other white girl I'd like to have dinner with and talk to. Well, I better not get too carried away, she had such a sweet and charming aura in the Animal, but who knows what's she's like in real life.



Anyways, I was thinking, maybe I'm gradually losing touch with that tragic, suicidal side of myself. I don't think I could ever have enjoyed a movie like The Animal back in Toronto. I longed for movies that resonated with the feelings loneliness and isolation I felt day to day. I don't think Rob Scheider movies would fit the bill. But now when I turn on the TV , I just want to see something simple, unpretentious, and funny. I guess people just like to watch stuff that resonates with their lifestyle.

My job just got a little more interesting... my next song for Kaiser Kastle will feature "True Daley" (www.truedaley.com). From the looks of her web site, she is a professional singer, and it will be really something to be in a recording studio with someone of her talent.

That being said, I'm was a bit undecisive as to what kind of music I should produce. On one hand, this is a professional singer who enjoys reggae, hip hop and rap, but on the other hand, the song is supposed to be about "matter" (the scientific matter) and it's for kids. You can see that the two don't really mix well. With the songs I've used so far, it's always been conventional stuff: pianos, ep pianos, guitars and the cliched chord progerssions (eg. I-V-IV-V).

So I was stuck for a whole day, trying to run through a bunch of musical ideas, both at the keyboard and away. Nothing. Either it was too melodic, or too "rappy".

But then came Radiohead to the rescue.

One of my favorite Radiohead songs is "Just". I still remember being hooked on the song (and the video) way back in high school. But it wasn't until about last year that using Transcribe, I extracted the chords from the song, and I was in COMPLETE awe. That has gotta be one of the most unusual chord progressions, and yet it sounds so natural and smooth. It completely throws away the classical scale theory... take, for instance, this cool progression:

Cmaj Ebmaj Dmaj Fmaj

This is used in that wicked guitar solo where the notes just keep going up, and up, and up, and up... In terms of standard musical conventions, the above is compeltely illogical. It doesn't seem to follow any scale pattern, it's just a bunch of major chords in different keys. And yet, when you play them together with a smooth melody, it actually sounds VERY pleasing to the ear.

So I borrowed that whole idea for the song... and amazingly I got the song in less than a hour. I just borrowed a few progressions from "Just" and put in some of my own using the same style... major chords connected freely. It sounds a bit odd at times, but it's so much more interesting and fun to listen to. It also seems to go well with the science theme because I can layer synthy arpeggios really easily and it all fits in well.

Of course, whether the producers will appreciate this kind of eccentricity is something I will have to see for myself later...

There's a little term I'd like to discuss with my readers today. It's called Musical Punch. When it comes to Musical Taste, I'm afraid I'm pretty below average. I have no idea what it is to have Musical Taste. I still listen to Mandy Moore from time to time. But when it comes to recognizing Musical Punch, I'm always on the money. I guess you could say my girlfriend has good Musical Taste because she enjoys listening to semi-fringe artists like Bjork and despises just about anything mainstream. But her Musical Punch radar is totally off.

Sorry, I haven't even come up with a definition of Musical Punch. The best way I can describe it is by using associative words. On the positive side, we have mainstream, catchy, powerful. On the negative side, we have cliched, unoriginal, commercialized.

There are certain artists which I will always associate with Musical Punch. I'll give you what I think are the 3 biggest representives from the 3 countries that I listen to music from:

US - Britney Spears
JPN - Utada Hikaru
TWN - Jay Chou

What these artists all have in common is that their music is produced with only one thing in mind, to appeal to as many people as possible. "Expression" is just an afterthought. To that end, they have big budget studios equipped with the fanciest gear and have the most wiley audio engineers working for them. You cannot appreciate how difficult it is to get a sound that punchy until you try making music for yourself. It's not easy.

The mixing technique is impeccable. The snares have crazy bite. The bass has definition and presence. The vocals are superbly enhanced with all kinds of choruses. The riffs are catchy and jump out at you. This is not something that happens with coincidence, they have experienced engineers working for many hours long after the artist has finished the recording session, tweaking this, tweaking that, until they have filled the entire stereo audio spectrum with just as much stuff as they can possibly stuff. And no, it's not as simple as adding a Aural Exciter into a mix and watch as dust turns into gold. I've tried those BBE Sonic Maximizers, all they do is tire your ears out. These engineers are the real magicians, the real alchemists. They can turn dust into gold, with their secretive voodoo techniques.

The final result is similiar to McDonalds food. It has superb mass appeal and you cannot deny that at some primal level, it is extremely gratifying to consume. On a higher intellectual level, you may reject it on the basis of "it's junk", but you cannot deny the primal satisfaction. The popularity speaks for itself.

I say I don't have Musical Taste because to me, Musical Taste is so goddamn pretentious. It's like fashion trends. There's no sound basis for liking this style over the over, it's just... whatever's hip at the time. I bet all those people who knock Britney Spears would be praising her if she wasn't as popular and Pop music was considered "Alternative".

However, Musical Punch has a deep and serious foundation in both musical theory and audio engineering. You can appreciate that like you can appreicate a well-made car. It's something that only trained professionals can produce. It can even be measured with a sonic analysis tool, with criteria such as Average RMS power.

There are some artists that sort of sit in between Musical Punch and Musical Taste. Like for instance, Radiohead's OK Computer. I think that's really catchy and punchy, and all those jaded music reviewers think so too. Red Hot Chili Peppers also falls into this category. Whenever you hear one of their tracks used on TV, it's a GUARANTEE that it particuarily excels in Musical Punch.

Then there are some artists which are pretty much all Musical Taste and zero Musical Punch. I don't really know any artists off the top of my head, because I can't stand that kind of music. But any of the following characterists would pretty much qualify:

1. Retarded lyrics that make no sense or try to make the listener feel uncomfortable
2. Constant screaming, long durations of acapella singing.
3. Overuse of dissonant chords, unconventional chord progressions, unusual scales etc. etc.
4. Purposely not filling the entire audio spectrum when it should, leaving the listener with a strange uncomfortable feeling
5. Overuse of strange sounds that do not elicit any feelings of familiarity from the listener
6. Overuse of strange effect boxes

Generally, not following the conventions of popular music pretty much qualifies. I much liken it to covering a canvas in red paint, giving it a fancy title, and then calling it "art".

After reading the latest entry of Mr. Xanga All-Star, I just had to say something about this comment:

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first of all, one does not "need" a relationship in order to fill this so-called "black hole". what has conditioned us to think we need a bf/gf in order to be happy? is it society, the media, human nature...what??

i've always questioned the need for relationships. why should anyone base their life's happiness solely on the pursuit, selection, and attainment of a significant other? there's SO MUCH MORE to life! if you can't be happy with yourself, don't expect to be happy with anyone else

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I wonder if she got that "there's SO MUCH MORE to life!" motto from this site. Hahah. Maybe she's a member.

Okay, where to we begin. Do you "need" a relationship to be happy? Well, gee, "Do you 'need' a car to get around town?" Of course you don't. You could just take the slow-ass TTC and enjoy staring at traffic while waiting for the bus. But damn, it would be really nice to have a car, wouldn't it?

Just like how taking the TTC everyday sucks... being single everyday also sucks. And this old adage of "if you're not happy with yourself, don't expect to be happy with someone else"... is just self-comforting bullshit for single people. There's no high and mighty reason for this, no poetic self-help mantra, no catchy proverbs. If it works for you fine, but that line never worked for me when I was single. Why? Because a 6-letter word just kept flashing across my head...D-E-N-I-A-L.

It's simple really: I just compare the quality of life between being single and being with someone... and there's just no comparison. It's a win/win situation in almost every scenario... You are in constant company of someone whom you feel extremely comfortable with, instead of always holding your cell phone and longing for company from your platonic pals. You have access to easy and uncomplicated sex (barring the case where there's a Bible between the two of you), instead of watching porn after porn after porn. Your single friends cower in fear from your Level 20 Smug Aura - which means you don't have to say anything at a social gathering and everyone automatically respects you because there's a nice girl sitting next to you who will only suck your dick .

And this is coming from a super-picky super-critical nerd who can find just about anything wrong with anything. When I say something is that much better than something else, I really mean it.

Now, I say "almost" every scenario because there is one major disadvantage that being a relatinoship entails: heartbreak. You have all those wonderful perks, but if somewhere along the line, things go sour... then all that difference in happiness you had over the last few years will suddenly invert into pain and anguish and will get stuffed down your throat. Yep there's risks too when you drive a car. You could kill yourself or kill others. But to most people, the risk is worth it. For me, even though the heartbreak of my first breakup was just about the greatest emotional pain I have ever suffered my entire life, I don't regret the time we were together one bit. That whole 2nd year with my ex... that was the real life. Just like life with Shinobu now... that's the real life. Everything else is just a shadowy prelude of longing, waiting...

and of course denying it to anyone who asks.

I'm vulnerable to hyprocrisy as well, just like that comment on Mark's site. When my (frustratingly) platonic female friend Donna told me "Terry, you need a girlfriend" back in 3rd year, my entire psychological system went into 100% Self-Defensive Excuse Mode. "No, I don't need a gf, Donna, I'm happy just the way I am" was the first thing I said. But that was such a goddamn lie it's not even funny. Because the only reason I kept hanging around Donna was because of that glimmer of hope that one day she would become my girlfriend.

No matter how I look at it, humans were biologically built to be in the constant presence of the opposite sex. Ideally, I would very much like to be in the constant presence of MANY different girls, but with all the social rules in place, I'll just have to make do with one.

I've got a cool poem for you

It's called "My Thoughts on EA Sports FIFA 2005."

---

sometimes when I'm trying to sleep, i start to reminisce of my days back at u of t. and then all of a sudden, i think of my ex-gf, which makes me feel super nostalgic. then, out of some strange compulsive behavior, i start scouring the net for any information about her. unfortunately, my ex-gf is either dead or extremely secretive (just like i remember her), because i haven't found her name mentioned once in any context you could possibly imagine.

and then when i think longer, it's kinda sad, because all the memories i have of her are starting to fade. maybe three or four years ago, i could remember a lot more, but now, it's just so... vague... almost like it never really happened. and since i can't find any evidence of her on the net either... it feels like she never even existed... as if it was all just a figment of my imagination. at this point, only a few strong memories and two e-mails remind me that we did have a relationship. but gradually it's fading into nothing.

in fact, when i think of my old self in toronto, it feels so oddly surreal. it's like, yeah... i must have been that person i was before, but he is but a shadow of his current self. i don't just feel different, i feel like another person.... not necessarily better, but somehow...... fuck it's so hard to express this feeling. it's just that i've been living such a different life for the last few years that it's hard to imagine i was living that other life since i was born.

i think if i ever go back to toronto again, my heart will fucking burst from sentimental nostalgia coursing through my veins, and i'll probably be crying for hours without end. i guess that's part of the reason i don't want to go back. it's too scary. it's like trying to merge with my old self again. what the fuck am i talking about anyways. ahh... fuck nostalgia. didn't this same shit happen around the same time last year?

Wow, I'm impressed. I've been using the very very old Sonar 2.2 for the longest time now. I refused to upgrade to Sonar 3 because... well... I thought it kinda sucked overall. The color schemes were just horrible (I really don't understand the fascination with depressingly dark blue colors as adopted by all major sequencers), and ... well... yeah, that's about it... the colors schemes were just horrible.

When I frist tried Sonar 4, I was a little disappointed because the color schemes sucked just as bad, once again. But surprinsgly, after like an hour of fine tuning, I got the sequencer to look something like this:


I can live with that. I particuarily like the orange-backlit LCD's for the patch names. Kinda makes it look like real hardware.

But never mind the colors anymore (even though that is very important to me). There are some really killer features in Sonar 4 which I think are just super-useful to any music producer:

1. Confidence recording
This is more of an aesthetic enhancement as opposed to a functional one. In Sonar 2, while you are recording something, the actual data doesn't show on screen until you finish recording. In Sonar 4 (and Sonar 3), the data gets displayed while it's recording (both audio and MIDI). It really adds something special to the recording experience.

2. Track layers
#1 functional improvement. When clips overlap, you can "expand" the track, and all overlapping clips are displayed on their own line, like sub-tracks. This is particuarily useful when you need to clean up a track with clips that are jumbleb up over each other (happens most often with multiple-take audio and midi drum tracks).

3. Track folders
This is cool too... you can aggregate tracks under a single folder, and many operations that apply to tracks can also be applied to track folders. For instance, if you group all the MIDI data under one track folder, then you can drag the clip that's being shown on the track folder line and it will simultaneously operate on all the contained tracks at once.

4. Fully Customizable keys
OMFG. For a shortcut whore like me, I was completely floored when I saw that the key bindings allowed you to map just about ANY key to a command. Before, it was always CTRL-something, ALT-something, or SHIFT-something... but now, you can remap single keystrokes such as 'w', 'a', 'd', to anything you want. This is uber-useful. It'll take me some time to come up with an even better shortcut scheme.... that will wire my brain even closer to Sonar.

I've recently come across a cool discovery in the music world... pentatonic scales. Well, this is nothing new, and in fact many jaded music purists would scoff at the idea of only using 5 notes in a scale, but to me pentatonic scales are really awesome.

The whole idea is that you only use 5 notes of a scale to create riffs/melodies and the results are usually far catchier than if you used all the notes. The most commonly used pentatnoic scale is:(and this is the only one I've been using)



C D E G A
Do Re Mi So La

In other words, in C major scale never play the fourth and seventh notes.

The applications of pentatonic scales are what excites me. I recently made a short demo of a phonics chant for Kaiser Kastle and they *loved* it. [brag time] The producer even called me up just to tell me how "cute" and "lovely" it was, especially compared to the previous one I made [/brag time]. In reality though, it was a ripoff of Parappa the Rapper's "Cooking with Cheep Cheep". I actually didn't realize that the Parappa track was pentatonic until I noticed that certain notes were never being used. But the riff was so damn catchy, I knew something fishy was going on...

Anyways, the producer of the show actually gave me a whole bunch of phonic chants to demo out... and since it's a "chant" (ie rap), I'll just use the tried and tested 2-bar loop formula. You'll notice this in almost every type of rap song... it's just a really catchy riff playing in the background with beats... and it offers unparalleled flexibility as to what the vocalist can say during that period of time. While there may be quick chord changes inside the loop, every 2 bars it must repeat exactly. This is great news because it saves the tracker a LOT of work. You just focus on making two great bars, and you already have a potential winner. For variation, just transpose it or cut certain parts out at special times (cutting everything but the beats works nicely).

I guess this works well because in a rap, nobody's paying attention to the actual music, they're focused on the vocals, but the "catchiness" of the background track will still rub off on you.. in the way you'll be bobbing your head or shakin' your body to the beats/riffs.

So I was a little premature in saying that real videogaming art is dead. There are some gems now and then. Like... Burnout 3: Takedown. The name is so goddamn plain and forgettable, I'd usually dismiss this as another crap title. But holy shit, this game is absolute gold.

Although there are many modes, the best one has got to be the crash mode. The concept is just enthralling. You drive a vehicle through a short segment, and then you try to cause as much destruction as possible by crashing into a busy intersection. They spice it up with powerups you can collect and the ability to control your car in mid-air. It sounds gimmicky but unbelievably it all works very well. The physics engine is a bit questionable at times but it works where it counts... cars feel heavy, collisions have impact, and there's tons of chaos. This whole "mass destruction" thing just has some kind of sick primal appeal to humans.

The graphics are just mindblowing. Razor sharp ****60fps**** , and there is UNBELIEVABLE detail on each track. No cheap low-FOV tricks either, it's at a fairly wide 120 degrees, and they use a lot of the PS2's parallel processed effects to a good degree (the motion blur is particuarily cool). If a measly PS2 can put out these kinds of graphics, then what the FUCK is going on with the PC game industry? I'd go as far as to say that Burnout's graphics actually bests the previous titan, Gran Turismo 3.

The only thing I don't like is the music. Typical American crap... distortion gt power chords galore with forgettable melodies. Please, no more power chords.

there's this really killer app i've found recently that has answered one of my oldest prayers in the computer music world: a good acoustic guitar simulator for keyboardists.

i have this sorta love/hate relationship with the guitar. i hate it becuase i don't play it and it's one of the hardest instruments to simulate convincgly with a sampler (the only thing harder would have to be electric guitars and all the dizzying array of effects that are commonly used). for an ac guitar you can just sample each note played solo, but if you try to "strum" it by simply playing each sample in quick succession, it just doesn't sound right.

despite this, you gotta love the ac.guitar for it's unbelievably subtle way of enhancing just about any kind of tracks that has strong chord movement... pop, rock, jazz, and of course.. kids songs. let's say you've got the bass, kicks, snares, and hihats tracked in, plus a lovely ep piano + ac piano fleshing out the chords. it's got a nice sound but it just doens't sound full enough. 9 times out of the 10, the solution to this situation is to add an quiet acoustic guitar strumming in the background. it adds that extra "meat" that gives a mix more body and feel, without standing out or changing the character of the mix.

unfortunately, making a ac.guitar track is one of the most godddamn annoying things for a keyboardist like me. the first problem is that if you're using a traditional sampler/rompler, the ac.guitar part is going to sound really bad. this pretty much kills the motivation to add it in the first place - nobody likes inserting crappy-sounding parts into their mix. the next problem is that keyboardists like me are used to playing piano voiced chords... that is, all the notes are as close as possible together so they can be played with one hand - but the guitar has a much more open voicing - ie the notes are spread much farther apart. this creates mondo problems for playing realtime - you gotta play with two hands or put up with a shitty sounding piano-voiced chord.

on top of that, i have to watch out not to play anything below E2 (because that's the lowest string on a 6-string guitar), and i have to make sure each note is strummed at the proper velocity, and of course, i have to watch out for the voicing. i can't just put in the chord notes at random, i have to put them in the right place, and also in the right number... guitar chords can have a max of 6 simulatenous notes but certain chords only have 4 or 5. all in all, it's a lot of goddamn work, and a lot of shifting notes around. all these problems of course, stem from the ugly fact that you're trying to play a guitar using a piano keyboard.



so, enter musiclab RealGuitar. this thing is like a godsend for any keyboardist. there's three killer features:

1. the "Chord" mode.
you play a chord on the keyboard using your left hand, RealGuitar recognizes the chord and automatically revoices it for a 6-string ac.guitar. fucking brilliant! it was a near-orgasmic experience to play 3-note triads and have a full sounding 6-note guitar chord blasting back at me.

2. the Strum Zone.
instead of repeatedly bashing a chord for a rythmic strum, you hold the base chord down with the left hand, and with your right hand, press a single white key to down-strum/up-strum, or press a single black key to slap-mute. that is fucking brilliant x2, because this means that in my sequencer, i only need to add one MIDI note for a re-strum, and not the whole 4/5/6-note chord over and over. also, the after-strums are played differently than the initial strums, adding even more realism.

3. the 290MB Acoustic Steel Guitar STEREO sample.

this sample set is so goddamn killer. it's so well balanced and sits right in a mix without too much tweaking. and being stereo sampled, you can strum this baby in real time and it will sound eeringly realistic. the 160MB Acoustic Steel Guitar (Doubled) is also very nice and full.

so now, i can't wait to add guitar parts to my songs. i probably won't use it to blueprint my songs (the piano is still the best tool for me), but it's just so great to be able to add a realistic guitar part effortlessly to a mix. i guess this is one of the great things about my new job, since the final product is digital audio, i am free to use whatever tools i have at my disposal to make it sound as good as possible. this is a really fun part of music production... the sky is the limit. of course, without being limited in the first place (eg forced to reconstruct 80 modern tracks using a 10 year old synthesizer), the freedom would not taste as sweet as it does now.

Where is the fucking PASSION in making video games. I'll tell you where it is: it is now long gone out the window, now that our world is saturated with multi-billion dollar mega-mergers, MBA fags, stockholders, branding, marketing, all exerting their unwanted influence on this wonderful art form.

Just look at the recently ESPN NBA 2K5. Ever since the branding of this game (starting from last year), this game has SUCKED beyond belief. It is as if the ESPN guys came in with bunch of morons in expensive suits, told anyone who had any artistic sense at Visual Concepts to fuck off , and then controlled the remaining monkey population to create a very medicore basketball game.

Seriously, how can a game keep getting WORSE 3 years in a row? The game was at it's artistic peak way back with 2k2 on the goddamn DREAMCAST! There, the graphics were beautiful, layups were ultra smooth, and despite only a simple drive/crossover button, it made much more sense than this retarded Isomotion fiasco (that name probably took a $20,000 focus group to come up with). This game has been rotted down to the core, only to be covered with an abundance of vacuous MBA-inspired fluff on top. Selling for $15 = MBA decision. At $15, it doens't matter if our game sucks or not, we're milking the name and nobody can resist that low price.

You know what, I haven't even played the game yet. But I don't need to. I just read the review at ps2.ign.com, and it pretty much coincided with my worst fears. The developers rushed the game and were working once again by the retarded corporate-managerial-induced financial whip to produce something that they have absolutely no passion for. The extremely well captured videos tells the whole story. It's full of chunky, illogical animations. There is still no sign of capturing the finer nuances of basketball. Just look at that animation with K-mart double clutching. Totally unpolished work. Or the Isomotion clips... god. Is this what real basketball feels like? Fuck no. Not even remotely close.

What I have played, is EA Sports NBA Live 2005. Live 2004 actually gave me some hope that there might be a basketball game franchise still worth playing. But Live 2005 has brought me back to reality. Real video gaming art is dead. The final PS2 verison is so terrible, it just SHOCKS me that any productin company would the balls to release such an unpolished product. But with financial whips, well, you'd better have the balls. I only played for 5 minutes until I was so disgusted with just about everything. There are tons of graphical issues and I can guarantee you this is because nearly every game nowadays requires to be released on multiple platforms simultaneously (this is obviously an MBA decision). First of all the, game runs at 30fps when last year it was a nearly solid 60fps. Being a fps snob, that is reason enough for me to throw my hands up in disgust. But there's more. There is NO bench at all, and now that the cameras are super wide and zoomed out, the absence of said bench is unbelievably fucking noticeable. It gets worse. During halftime the camera pans out to show you what must be the most horribly low res/overfiltered audience texture. It's like the kind of shit you see when you run a beta N64 emulator with a Voodoo 1 card. Just un-fucking-believable. We're back in the Mario 64 days.

Traditionally, you were only subjected to these kinds of graphical obscenities with PC games and when you were forced to lower all the detail settings to the mininum. Now, thanks to the fact that developers must develop for the Xbox/Gamecube/PS2 at the same time, owners of the weakest system (the PS2) now get to run graphically crippled versions. Go MBA's. You can bet anything that if the developers were developing only for the PS2 (and this would only be possible if MBA's weren't above them screaming of the potential profit of a multi-platform release), there would be a bench, and there would not be such a shockingly horrible N64'ish resolution audience zoomed up that closely.

So thanks for Mr. Bigshot Capitalist, I have no goddamn basketball game to play this whole goddamn year. Well, that's okay. I've moved on to football/soccer anyways. At least Winning Eleven is still around.

How good can this girl sing?



Find out here:

http://members.rogers.com/jigen-ongaku/demo1.mp3 (30 second demo)

I personally think her voice is fabulous... soft, gentle with tons of midrange. Her natural voice doesn't sit well in a mix (doesn't resontate enough), but with some EQ and chorusing... I got some really good results.

Keep in mind of course, that this song was produced in one night with equipment that probably costs less than the hardwood floor of a real studio (yep, that's the standard excuse for anyone who doesn't think it sounds good).

I came up with this "love song" chorus at Q&K Bubble Tea. If you remember, I wanted to create a simple pop arrangement and have my girlfrined sing in Japanese, just out of curiosity. My girlfriend was actually disinterested in the whole idea, so I had to come up with everything.. the lyrics, melody, chords... before she would agree to sing. And man, I don't know why, but she really thinks singing is a hassle. Can you imagine it took 10 minutes of coercion just for her to sing that "yeah" at the end? She kept telling me it would sound stupid... well, fuck, the lyrics are so stupid already, I didn't think an extra "yeah" would bring it to another level.

The song didn't sound like much until I harmonized her voice. Since my girlfrined would absolutely not sing the harmony (it's very hard), I used a fairly ghetto method... I spliced her original voice over every note, and then used the Cakewalk Sonar supplied pitch shifter to harmonize it according to the chords. As a result, there are actually a lot of weird sounding artifacts in the chorus, but fortunately you don't really hear it with everything else being so much louder.

From making this quick demo, I've learned that harmonzing a voice is like MSG for music. It will instantly add appeal and listenability to a vocal part with absolutely no extra effort on the part of the singer (and I assume with the right equipment, almost no effort on the part of recording engineer either). The voice in this song is 1. not professionally trained 2. completely disintersted in singing and 3. wants to sleep. And yet magically, it is actually listenable!

Also, vocals need EQ badly. I never understood all that commotion about proper EQ'ing technique... well, you really don't need EQ for balanced stuff like properly sampled sounds, but with raw material like vocals it's crticially important.

The arrangment is just a bunch of cliched stuff I picked up from deconstructing big studio songs for CMUSIC.

The guys at Kaiser Kastle liked my demos. They liked my speed and efficiency even more... considering I only had two days to set up a vocal recording environment.

The only thing they complained about was that my voice ... well... sucked. It was "too quiet and too low". My girlfriend told me the same thing too, and I totally agree.. it's just... I'm so terrified of my own natural voice. I actually recorded it again while singing normally. It's so gay - like I thought. To tell you the truth, it sounds like I'm one of those stereotypical nerdy-skinny CBC's who spends too much time in front of a computer.

I'll actually be going to instruct the actors on the show how to sing my song in a couple of weeks... and then it will be recorded and aired on TV in about a month. Sounds like fun. Although now that I know my girlfriend's voice is really decent, I kinda want to get her to sing a more traditional pop arrangement, just for shits and giggles. And in Japanese of course... her English is absolutely .... hilarious.

It turns out that my new job actually requires me to sing - at least in my demos. I think the guys at Kaiser Kastle didn't really communicate this very well to me, because while I love singing in the shower, I am absolutely f'king PARANOID of singing when someone else other than my gf is listening. It all ties back to that traumatic event back at my very first time at Karaoke in 1999, somebody actually told me this while I was trying to sing "Ghost"

"Terry, you can't just read the words, you have to sing them"

Then everybody started laughing. Yep, ever since that day, I have never stepped into a Karaoke again. Ironic since my prior job involved creating MIDI arrangements for Karaoke. A lot of them. Maybe somebody in Japan has already sang along to my arrangement to Chemical Brothers "Setting Sun" or Prodigy's "Breathe". Or maybe they've been sitting as totally unused pieces of data in thousands Karaoke machines across Japan.

Anyhow, I had no means of recording live voice in my pitiful home studio, and I thought this was the obvious time to change that. I bought a Studio Projects B1 mic, and because it uses a goddamn 3-pin XLR connection (I forgive you completely if you've never heard of that), I had to buy a hardware mixer. On top of that I had to add a pretty hefty microphone stand as well as extra cables becuse the professional recording world only likes to use those really thick phono cables. Total cost: 13000NT. That's around $500CDN. Ripoff? You bet, especially compared to the prices I saw online. But I was in no position to negotitate, seeing how I needed this stuff ASAP.

I was pretty giddy (but tired) when I brought all that gear back home. I assemble the mic stand, plug in everything, and I tried testing the mic.... nothing. Not a sound. I thoguht something might have been wrong with my mixer settings (you know, that "gotcha" mute button, or the level set too low)... but everything checked out. So the word that crossed my mind was... "FUCKAROO". Transporation isn't exactly the most convenienet thing for me, and a taxi ride to the Midi Store is around 170NT each way. But I'm not the kinda guy who can sleep with a bunch of new gear that DOESN'T EVEN WORK, so I called the store right away and fortunately there was still someone there after hours. Turns out the goddamn XLR cable was faulty (and this was double the store's fault because they assembled it)... they gave me a new one and I rushed back home.

So, what's it like to record your voice into a mix? It's pretty goddamn hilarious, to tell the truth. At first, especially when my gf was listening, I couldn't stop laughing. But that's better than my gf, who just FROZE for 20 seconds while I asked her to sing anything into the mic.

Of course, my voice really sucks, and the only way I can get something that even sounds acceptable is to sing "lullaby" style... ie really softly as if I was trying to lull a baby to sleep. I think when I talk normally, I sound really gay... as in homosexual. Some of my close friends know I can fake a gay guy really well. On top of that, my dad suspected that I was gay until I got my first girlfriend (or when he caught me stealing his porn material hahaha).

But of course, I am not gay.

Anyways, adding vocals to a mix really makes the whole thing sound alive and organic. It also seems to mask any "MIDI cheeze" that would have been noticeable without the vocals. It's really a lot of fun and it's an avenue that I can learn a lot of from!

Terry