linterry's blogger

lately i've realized my tolerance for just about anything that displeases me has pretty much hit zero. eg: I really can't stand public transporation anymore, the waiting, the crowds, the stench, i used to take it all with aplomb but now it just grates my nerves like no tomorrow. so now i pay 5x the amount to take the taxi. it used to annoy me that i spent 5x the money to get to the same place. but now it annoys me even more to wait for a bus.

yah i don't know what's gotten into me. for some reason i've started to look at everyone around me as a pest. i can't stand small talk anymore, i used to entertain it maybe but now give the tersest of terse responses. so that pretty much rules out any kind of social event where people get around and try to show each other how great they are. i can't enjoy those because the atmosphere just stinks of dishonesty and pretension. damnit i feel i've said this before somehow.

the ideal day for me is something like this: wake up at 1pm, go out with for lunch, then hit a coffee shop for a couple of hours and get high on caffeine while pondering over the latest work material, then go home and compose for 3 or 4 hours, then indulge myself in narcisissm as i replay my work 100 times, then pig out on world of warcraft until my body is exhuasted and i feel like sleeping. of course, my girlfriend is in the picture for everthing. i don't think i could even enjoy life at all without my girlfriend. it just SUCKS not having her around.

anything that disrupts this life pattern = annoying. yeah even things like going to the studio, which should be fun for most people, is just annoying to me. i'm thinking it's gotta be a common thing to think being in those fancy music studios for hours is a fun thing... it's not that fun. you spend more time wishing you were somewhere else actually. the fun part is sitting in the comfort of your own home, it's just you and your music, the ideas and emotions all private, and just composing.

as part of my mmorpg abstitnence program i've turned back to xanga for emotional satsifaction. this may be the start of a resurgence, maybe not. to start off anyhow, i'm gonna bring up two pieces of news my girlfriend passed on to me recnetly (since i don't even watch tv anymore except when arsenal is playing, or maybe the occasional nba game)

1. a grade one elementary school girl was found raped and lying dripping wet on the balcony of her second floor home. suspects are two teenage males. most likely the suspects hosed the girl with water to wash any traces of semen away.

2. an elementary school kid was found beaten to vegetable status by their parents. deemed unrescuable by doctors his heart was henceforth sent to donation.

you gotta love taiwanese news, because as much as we may criticize them for reproting on the most disgusting, unnewsworthy topics, they do one thing: get your attention and thus boost the media ratings. hey, i'm writing about it here right?

so that brings me to this: we look down on rape and abuse and all that and yet for some odd reason we are attracted to it in a strange primal sense. it's like we have a filter for most of the unnoteworthy thigns we see in our daily lives and yet filthy disgusting repulsive things always seem to make it through. in other words fancy artistic things like monet and da vinci actually lose out to rape and abuse in terms of sheer emotional impact. if the news reported on a monet drawing my gf would probably have switched the channel, i would never hear of it and you would not see it written here. yet rape and abuse make it through. hrm. what does that tell you about the true nature of human beings? not only that but there is a strange sense of emotional satisfcation about hearing stories like this, it's like a fix almost, when we tune in the tv we want to hear something interesting, something that will move us. monet won't do jack shit for 99% of us yet rape and abuse hell yeah!

well here's my two cents: beneath our chemically enhanced scents and synthetic clothing designed by gay fashion queens, there is the beast, the animal, who wants to fuck, kill, rape, love, hate, dance and sing. it's almost eerie that i derive so much pleasure out of killing people online, the whole imagery of someone caving in to my superiority is so addicting. yes it's filthy and dishonorable but does that make it any less pleasant? no. i guess what i don't like about north america in general is that we seem to take practically all that is animal (except gluttony) and then stuff it all in a closet like unwanted goods, then put a big "do not open" sign on it. fuck that. i'll take violence and sex over sterlity every day. does that mean I want to get beaten up by a gang and get raped in the ass? hell no. but i'd sure like to know what it's like to beat up someone i hate and fuck any girl i please. duh! life needs to be spicy or it really sux.

ok that's it for now. got a bit of a fix out of that. l8r

recently i have started a new pvp character on mannoroth (us east). since then the addiction has only gotten worse. it is 100x more fun to kill a human character than a computer controlled one. it doesn't help that I also picked one of the most (imho) unbalanced classes, the shaman. he just dominates. the only class i have problem with is rogues and to a lesser extent paladins. everything else is just toast unless they +5 levels or more. in the case of mages and hunters they are super toast, i even killed a 42 hunter at 35 the other day in a full hp/mp fight with no mobs involved (http://members.rogers.com/jigen-ongaku/hunter/hunter.htm). if i was that hunter i'd consider deleting my character and rolling a pally.

i really need to stop. i play WAY too much and this is affecting my work, my physical condition and to a lesser extent maybe even my sex life. you know how when ppl come home and they're looking for a fix, some watch tv, some chat online, some smoke a cig, some drink, and then there are some who just play warcraft all night long. well now that's me. i have to stop. but i most likely wont'. until a lose my job my girlfirned and everything that i have and then it might give me enough of a kick in the ass to straighten myself out.

all i gotta say is

world of warcraft >>>> xanga

not being able to play for more than 4 hours <<<< all

btw i have picked up mmorpg speak. some words to start ya off

> - "is better than"
>>>>> - "is way better than"
<<<<< - "is way worse than "

pull - the way you get a wandering/staionery monster to starting attacking you
mob - monster. gramatically incorrect as a counting noun: mob = 1 monster
aggro -"monster hate". the more aggro a mob has on you, the more likely he will attack you and not somebody else (aka threat)

pc - player character aka real live people
npc - non player character aka computer controlled chars
gank - killing a pc while they are busy fighting an npc

4tehwin - "for the win". something that considered powerful and will close out the battle eg "paladin immunity 4tehwin"

dps - damage per second
dpm - damage per mana


grind - killing the same mobs over and over for exp and loot
proc - "activate" eg. sword has a 1% chance to proc a stun on hit
buff -

instance - private dungeon that is only completable in a group
lfg - looking for group (almost always for an instance)
lfm - looking for more (almost alwasy for an instance)

mez - "mezmerize" spells that disable a character (eg sleep) but will wake up on being hit
ninja - to steal someobdy's loot or kill (aka "ninja kill")
oom - out of mana
pst - please send tell
roll - play a class (eg i'm going to roll a rogue for my next character)

omg servers are up. bye